Sometimes there's just nothing on TV. So we ended up landing on the WE Network's "Secret Lives of Women." Good grief. These shows are something else. So the other night's episode had a pain pill addict, an S&M/vampire, an open marriage and a woman married to a man who made her wedding dress, then decided 7 years and 2 kids later to come out of the closet, but still wanted to stay married. Wow.
All that aside, this gal married to the gay man had some crazy nails. I wish I had a picture of them - the regular nail was painted clear with white snowflake designs and the tips were blood red. Happy holidays.
So last night as I'm heading to the nail salon (my one indulgence I still allow myself, mainly b/c I know I'll have to give them up once nursing school starts) I get a text from Adam saying, "red tips and snowflakes?" Careful what you wish for, buddy.
Does anyone else ever get that feeling that the nail ladies are totally talking smack on you the whole time you're in there? I love my nail girl - she's always so sweet with her hugs and "special pricing for good customer," but I just wish for one second I understood Vietnamese so I knew her true thoughts. Here's how I think last night went:
Her: You want eyebrow wax today?
Me: Oh, I suppose I should...
Her: Vietnamese to co-worker (my translation: I would say so, sweetie! Those things are about to grow off your face!)
Her: You look pretty girl, you lose weight?
Me: Thank you, just a few pounds, you know, trying to get ready for the wedding...
Her: Vietnamese to co-worker (my translation: You'd better drop some pounds if you plan to squeeze into a dress, fatty!)
Her: You want design on nail today?
Me: Actually, I think I do...how are you with snowflakes?
Her: Don't know snow-frake
Her: Vietnamese to co-worker (my translation: Who does she think I am? Picasso? Flowers or butterflies, pick one silly American!)
Me: Never mind