Thursday, January 29, 2009

Funniest Craig's List Post EVER

OK, so those of you that know me, know that I've had some "issues" with the ol' tummy in the past. I think that's why I found this so damn amusing.


To the woman that crapped in my car… (NE Portland)

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Reply to: pers-1007823954@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-25, 8:53PM PST

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…

Location: NE Portland
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

3 comments:

The Aguilars said...

oww it hurts so bad to laugh right now but that is soooo funny. I love the ps at the bottom!!

Mo said...

Don't laugh too hard...hehe

April and Tom said...

This is hysterical. I actually read it at work b/c a friend of mine had printed it out. Too funny!! My favorite part is the ps at the end, too!